In the Mystery
It was one of the most awaited evenings of the season. The amount of estrogen was palpable. Laughter and chattering filled the air. The anticipation was building: Flourish was about to begin. I found my seat with a group of gals, some of whom I had only just met. What was God going to do tonight? Worship began and the room was filled with the praises of nearly 300 woman who you could tell were ready and hungry for God’s presence. The first strains of Hillsong’s “Oceans” began, and I heard some of the words for what felt like the first time: “And there you find me in the mystery.” I got chills, and heard God say, you find me when you have faith, especially in the face of the unknown. How neat. I had had a lot of faith when we moved across the country a mere month after getting married. Had faith when my husband and I aided in the launch of Thrive. Cute. Yay God, Faith.
A month later my job implodes. I loved my job. I was feeling fulfilled. I had been there about 10 months and really felt like I had it down. I stepped into a meeting and ended it with embarrassing tears. I was being ‘reorganized.’ Now, I wasn’t losing my job (positive). I was however moving departments (Boo), to Finance (Boo), to be an accountant? (Boo), moving from my own cubicle space to sharing an area with three other people (Boo) interacting with the one person I had encountered thus far that I really felt I didn’t get along with…(BOO). I had gone from happy and secure to having no idea what my day to day would look like.
It was a mystery. My natural tendency towards mysteries is a Nancy Drew “I can solve this” attitude. “And there I find you in the mystery.” I felt the prod of the Lord. This was an opportunity to trust Him. To find my rest and security in my heavenly Father.
As Christians I don’t think we ever get to the point where chaos strikes and we don’t flinch. I do think that we slowly shrink our freak out time. I think we gradually minimize how much we worry and maximize how much we trust. The last time chaos had struck it had taken a few days. This time I freaked, cried, remembered what God said, reached out to some ladies for prayer and by the end of the day began – slowly - to minimize my worry and maximize my faith. It was still a process. Just because you know that God knows what He is doing doesn’t mean you are thrilled in every moment. Faith is being confident in what we hope for and believing in what we cannot yet see.
What mystery should you be finding God in rather than trying to solve? What unknown is really an opportunity to maximize your faith? I encourage you to pick an area and, instead of trying to solve your mystery, look for God in it.
- Courtney